It is rare that any person going through the divorce process really understands the steps and mechanics involved. For those individuals who have the luxury of hiring an attorney, they simply show up and comply with the instructions their attorney provides.
However, upwards of eighty percent of all divorces in Los Angeles and Orange County are done without attorney representation, even contested divorces. This means it is incumbent on the parties to figure it out for themselves, show up where they need to be, and be prepared for what is expected to take place. Attorneys can take years to hone their skills and understanding of the process, and the unrepresented spouse must do this on their first pass through the system.
This reality is not only highly stressful but can lead to costly mistakes that can impact your life for years to come. That is why we are sharing an article on the mechanics of divorce mediation. The more you know, the less stressful the process, and the more likely you will be prepared.
In part one of this five-part series, we shared an overview of the types of mediation in which you might find yourself involved. In parts two and three, we plan on getting more granular in our discussion. In part two, we will focus on private mediation, and in part three, on court- ordered mediation that covers child custody issues. To make this information more digestible, we will present this in a Q & A format.
Disclaimer: This blog constitutes general information and is not legal advice. This platform is not a law firm, and its employees, agents, or representatives are not acting as your attorney. The content and tools offered are intended to assist individuals in understanding and navigating the divorce process without an attorney but are not a substitute for advice from a qualified attorney licensed in your jurisdiction. To allow you to independently verify information, wherever a fact appears below, you'll find a link to the statute, court rule, or source behind it.
Where Do Family Court Proceedings Take Place?
Orange County – All family law matters are filed at the Lamoreaux Justice Center, 341 The City Drive South, 7th Floor, Orange. One building, one filing location, one family law division.
Los Angeles County – There are multiple courthouses where proceedings can take place depending on where the case was filed.
- The main courthouse is the Stanley Mosk Courthouse at 111 North Hill Street. This houses the central family law clerk's office, filing window, Family Court Services, the Family Law Facilitator, and a self-help center.
- Depending on where you live, the closest family law court may be one of twelve locations:
- Pasadena,
- Norwalk,
- Lancaster for the Antelope Valley,
- Long Beach,
- Compton,
- Pomona,
- Santa Monica,
- Inglewood,
- Torrance,
- Van Nuys,
- San Fernando
What is the cost to file a dissolution, legal separation, or nullity case?
The cost is the same statewide, and the burden is shared by both parties
- Filing Cost is $435.
- Responding Cost is $435.
- Motion or order to show cause is $60, unless it happens to be that party's first paper.
- Motion to modify or enforce custody or visitation is $25.
- A stipulation and order that does not require a hearing is $20.
Both counties' self-help centers handle fee waiver applications for people who can't afford the filing fee.
Family Code section 2030 lets a court order the spouse with better access to funds to pay the other's attorney fees where there's a disparity and the ability to pay.
Does Mediation Stay any Filing or Proceedings?
No. The two deadlines start running immediately, and mediation doesn't pause either one.
- The preliminary declaration of disclosure is due within 60 days of filing the petition for the petitioner and within 60 days of filing the response for the respondent.
- The mandatory six-month waiting period under Family Code section 2339 begins from service or the respondent's first appearance, whichever comes first.
What is private mediation?
- Private mediation is to help the parties decide on issues involving property, debt, and support without the Judge having to decide.
What is the process for private mediation?
- Private mediation starts with selection of the mediator. You and your spouse agree on one neutral party that is not your attorney or your spouse’s attorney. There is no required qualification for a private mediator.
- Most private mediators begin with an intake process that includes separate calls or questionnaires covering the assets, the debts, the children, the income, and any safety concern.
- How the sessions are run will depend on the mediator. Some mediators keep everyone in one room the entire time. Others move between separate rooms, carrying offers back and forth, which is called caucus. Many do both, opening jointly to set an agenda and then splitting when a specific issue gets hot.
- There's no correct format, but you should ask the mediator about their process before you commit. It is a completely different experience sitting across from your spouse for four hours versus sitting alone in a side room waiting for someone to walk in with an offer or compromise
- The length of the mediation also is dependent on the mediator you select. Some will use a short two-hour slot to deal with specific issues, thereby allowing both people time to cool off between sessions. Others prefer a full-day slot, which can build momentum and can carry a couple past a sticking point they'd otherwise brood over for two weeks. Neither is better, but it is important that you understand the mediator’s process and what type of day you will be having.
Will a private mediator decide our issues?
No, a private mediator doesn't decide anything. The Judicial Council's description of the role is that mediators "just help both sides talk through the issues so they can settle the dispute themselves," and "the mediator does not make any decisions about the dispute." A mediator who starts telling you what a judge would order and pressing you toward it has drifted into a different role, and you're entitled to say so.
Are there any protections if a party is afraid of their spouse?
While there is no specific requirement for private mediations, a competent private mediator will follow the same requirements as when a mediation is required by the court. In court-ordered mediation where there's a history of domestic violence or a protective order, Family Code section 3181 provides: where there has been a history of domestic violence between the parties or where a protective order as defined in Section 6218 is in effect, at the request of the party alleging domestic violence in a written declaration under penalty of perjury or protected by the order, the mediator appointed pursuant to this chapter shall meet with the parties separately and at separate times.
If domestic violence is an issue, it is important that you communicate this to the mediator before you engage them to understand how they will handle the matter.
What happens if the parties do not reach an agreement in a private mediation?
Most mediation sessions don't produce a complete deal, and it helps to know that going in rather than treating it as a personal failure. If a private mediation in a California family law matter does not reach an agreement, the case returns to the traditional litigation process in court.
What Happens Next
- Return to Litigation: The unresolved issues (such as support or property division) remain open and must be decided by a family court judge.
- Strict Confidentiality: Under the California Evidence Code, private mediation is strictly confidential. The private mediator cannot tell the judge what was said, offer opinions, or make recommendations to the court.
- No Legal Disadvantage: Failing to settle in private mediation does not hurt your standing in court. The discussions cannot be used as evidence against either party.
- Continued Negotiations: You and your spouse can still try to negotiate an agreement informally or through your attorneys before the scheduled court date.
- Temporary Orders Remain: Any existing temporary court orders for support or custody stay in effect while you prepare for further hearings or trial.
What happens if the parties reach a partial agreement in private mediation?
In a private family law mediation in California, reaching a partial agreement means you lock in the issues you resolved while the unresolved issues remain disputed and must be handled outside of that settlement. Because private mediation is strictly voluntary and confidential, specific processes follow a partial agreement:
Formalizing the Partial Agreement
- Written Stipulation: The private mediator or one of the parties will draft a written agreement covering only the specific points where consensus was reached (e.g., agreeing on dividing bank accounts but leaving the house sale disputed).
- Signatures and Magic Words: To be enforceable under California law, the written partial agreement must be signed by the parties and explicitly state that it is binding or enforceable (satisfying California Evidence Code Section 1123).
- Submitting to Court: The parties or the mediator can turn this signed partial agreement into a formal Stipulation and Order to submit to the family law judge, so it becomes a binding court order on those specific topics.
What happens if the parties reach a full agreement in a private mediation?
When a private family law mediation in California reaches a full agreement, the terms are reduced to a formal written contract, signed by both parties, and submitted to the court to be converted into a binding judicial order or judgment.
The Step-by-Step Process After Reaching a Full Agreement
- Drafting the Agreement: The private mediator or one of the parties drafts a formal written document, typically called a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) for a divorce, or a Stipulation and Order for specific issues like custody or support.
- Review by Counsel: If a party is represented by an independent attorney, that attorney should review the drafted document to ensure legal rights and assets are fully protected.
- Signing: Both parties and their legal counsel sign the final written agreement voluntarily.
- Submission to Court: The signed paperwork, along with any required judicial council forms (such as a judgment packet), is filed with the local Superior Court.
- Judicial Approval: A family law judge reviews the agreement to ensure it complies with California law.
- Court Order/Judgment: Once the judge signs the agreement, it enters the court record and becomes a fully enforceable, legally binding court order. Violating the terms carries the same legal consequences as violating any other court directive.
Mediation isn’t perfect but can be better than the alternative
Mediation is often considered the lesser of two evils. It has the advantages of:
- It is faster than a trial, which can take a year or more.
- It costs less in attorney fees and court costs.
- It gives you more control, because you participate more actively in creating a workable solution.
However, this only works if both people are prepared and bring their documents.
Part four of this blog series is about the preparation that makes the difference: the documents, the numbers you should run before anyone makes an offer, and how to choose a mediator in a state that doesn't license them.
And again: this article is general information about California law and Los Angeles and Orange Counties; it is not legal advice for your situation.
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